Archive for January 2009

Today, I am the greatest of all time

January 13, 2009

Congrats to Jim Rice and Ricky Henderson for being elected to the baseball Hall of Fame yesterday.  While I never got to watch either player (except for Ricky when he was old and washed up), both provided me with some memories.

Jim Rice waited 15 years to get into the hall and only made it by 7 votes.  I’m glad he finally made it and now the Sox can get on with retiring number 14.  My favorite (and only) Rice memory was his commercial appearance that doubled as the acting debut of the reigning AL MVP, el caballito himself, Mr. Dustin Pedroia.  There’s no questioning the greatness of this ad, and I can easily say that Rice is 2nd best actor involved (not including the Sullivan Tire guy at the end).

I’m still not sure what that has to do with tires.

Next up, Ricky Henderson, who was nearly unanimous selection in his first year of eligibility and has always been a source of entertainment for me.  Whether it was his habit of referring to himself in the 3rd person, or declaring “I am the greatest of all time,” Ricky always kept things interesting.  But Ricky also helped me achieve greatness in my own life.  Not just by providing a sterling example of baddassness but by aiding me in countless victories in the most boring of all board games, Trivial Pursuit.

Now if you’ve ever played against me in Trivial Pursuit (unlikely), you’d know that my strategy is to stick to the super easy green spaces (sports questions) and avoid the pointlessly hard browns (books or something, who knows?).  This allows me to continue moving around the board at will until I feel like winning.  The secret to the green questions (other than being a sports genius), is that Ricky Henderson is the answer to every baseball question.  No joke, every question.  I wish I was kidding.  I’ve been saved at least twice by guessing Ricky on a question that  I was clueless about.  One of those times I even joked earlier in the game about Ricky always being the answer, and followed my answer by informing everyone of my greatness (a la Ricky).

So thank you Jim and Ricky for making my laugh and helping me win.  Enjoy the hall, you both deserve it.

PS The answer to at least one brown question is Judge Judy.  I actually won the game on that one.

more to come…


The Life and Times of Tim (Tebow)

January 9, 2009

Enjoy this moment Tim!

…because it wont last.

Sorry but you’ll be a shitty NFL player.  Get ready to follow in the footsteps of recent heisman winning QB’s like Troy Smith, Matt Leinart, Jason White, Eric Crouch, Chris Weinke, and Danny Wuerffel.  Sam Bradford:  the jury’s still out on you, have fun on the Lions never year.

Note to Tebow:   No running QB succeeds in the NFL.  Why? because NFL players are faster and hit harder than college players  (just ask Tavaris Jackson).  Your size and speed will be comepletely nuetralized by NFL defenses.  Look at the recent track record of run-happy QBs:  Steve McNair was probably the most successful, but he broke down early.  Vick was the most talented but never led the Falcons to anything, and is now in jail.  And then there’s the most recent, and most accurate QB comparison…

Tim Tebow is basically the white Vince Young.  Young was a great college QB, who won a national title (against a USC team that featured Reggie Bush and fellow NFL bust Matt Leinart) and gained media attention for his exciting style of play and crazy college numbers.  Like Tebow, he relied on his legs more than his arm.  Where is he now?  Mr. “Invincible” is currently riding the bench on suicide watch while a 40 year old QB who was washed up 5 years ago led his team to the best record in the AFC.  Thats a bright future to look forward to Tim!

Now don’t get me wrong, Tim Tebow was a great college player.  He put up incredible numbers on a talented Florida team and won the Heisman as a sophomore.  But lets face it, anyone could win with that team.  Chris Leak (not drafted, currently in CFL) won with that team 2 years ago.  When you play for a powerhouse football school where everyone on the field is an NFL prospect, its easy to look good.  Its easy to become overrated.

But all isn’t lost for poor Tim.  He’ll be drafted, although not in the first round.  He’ll ride the bench on a crappy team and maybe even get a chance to start.  But ultimately, his NFL career will never live up to the hype.  Luckily for Tebow, unlike most college football busts, his off the field activities could actually land him a job that doesn’t lead to prison.  Plus he has this to look forward to.

I guess it could be worse.

Currently Listenting to:  Silversun Pickups – Little Lover’s So Polite

more to come…

Red Sox Sign Rocco Baldelli & John Smoltz

January 8, 2009
The newest member of the Red Sox, Rocco Baldelli

The newest member of the Red Sox, Rocco Baldelli

Good news for the nation today as the Sox announced they have agreed to terms with free agents Rocco Baldelli and John Smoltz.  Both deals are very low-risk/high-reward.

Baldelli will be the 4th outfielder, after spending his entire career with Tampa.  He’s in Boston recieving the Tony Conigliaro Award today and the deal was announced then.

The Herald reported the details of Rocco’s contract:

It’s a one-year deal, with a $500,000 base salary, which is just $100,000 over the 2009 major league minimum. Baldelli can earn as much as $1.75 million in roster bonuses if he stays healthy and off the disabled list for the season.

Also, Baldelli’s deal includes plenty of performance bonuses, which start to kick in at 325 plate appearances, all the way up to 600 plate appearances.  If Baldelli were to make 600 plate appearances — a highly unlikely figure, to be sure — he could earn as much as $5.25 million in performance bonuses in addition to the roster bonus.

Smoltz’s role is still unkown, as he has started and closed in the past.  He isn’t expected to pitch until June because of recent shoulder surgery.  His deal is expected to 1 year, 5 million and will be announced soon.

Currently listening to:  Modest Mouse – The View

more to come…

You have one job!

January 8, 2009

I was planning on making my first official post later today to announce the Red Sox signing Rocoo Baldelli and John Smoltz, but circumstances have changed.  One of my biggest fears was realized today and it forced me to use an incredibly embarrassing excuse for being late to work.

Where I live, I have to fight with a bunch of other people to use the washer/dryer.  I swear those things are running 24/7, and if you aren’t there to get your laundry the moment it finishes, someone will take it out, wet or not.  This left me stuck with damp clothes on a number of occasions.  Rather than continue to wear wet/dirty clothes, I started doing my laundry at night.  I wait until everyone goes to bed to start the washer, then leave them in the dryer overnight.  Worst case scenario is that someone takes my stuff out of the dryer in the morning after its been dry for hours.

Or so I thought.

This morning I went through my normal morning routine, but when I went to get my laundry I discovered that the dryer, for whatever reason, did not do its job.  My clothes were still soaked, and now I have nothing to wear to work.  With no other valid excuse, I emailed my boss to tell him that my dryer is making me late for work.

Even worse, the dryer continues to claim that the clothes inside are dry, and it refuses to run a full drying cycle because of this.  I understand that the dryer is supposed to be an expert on the subject, but I have to call bullshit.  Now I know how much I hate to be questioned on subjects which I consider myself an “expert” at, such as Boston sports, minor league arena football teams, or “why that guy who killed me in Halo was cheating” but in this case I have no choice.  You have one job dryer! Get it right dammit!

I can only hope the dryer doesn’t hold a grudge, because, like it or not, I still need its services if I plan to leave the house before summer.

More to come…


January 7, 2009

First post.  I promised myself I’d post something every day, but I’m not sure what I’ll end up writing about.   Stay tuned.

more to come…